Not a creature was stirrin', cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.
When up on da roof I heard somethin' pound
I sprung to da window to scream, “Yo! Keep it down!”
When what to my wanderin' eyes should appear
But da Don of all elfs and eight friggin' reindeer!
Wit' slicked-back black hair and a silk red suit
Don St. Nicky wuz here and he brought da loot!
Wit' a slap to dare snouts and a yank on dare manes
He cursed and he shouted and he called dem by name.
“Yo Tony, yo Frankie, yo Vinny, yo Vito,
ay Joey, ay Paulie, ay Pepe, ay Guido!”
As I drew out my gun and hid by da bed
He flew troo da winda and slapped me ‘side da head.
“What da hell you doin' pullin' a gun on da Don?
Now all you're getting' is coal, you friggin' moron!”
St. Nicky pointin' a fat finga right unda my nose
He twisted his pinky ring and up da chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, obscenities screamin'
Away dey all flew before he troo dem a beatin'.
Den I heard him yell out what I did least expect
“Happy Friggin' Holidays to all, yous better show some respect!”
